I figured i'd take this break time from my studies to write some things i've been thinking about today. I was going to try and take a couple classes for the summer but I think i'm reconsidering my decision. Although, I would like to I don't want to have to worry about the monthly payment for just a couple months in addition with all my other bills that I feel are consuming my life. I pray to god I get my finances under control.

I keep finding myself getting lost in music. In my car to drown out all the stresses of life and my thoughts I turned the radio up and just listened, right now to erase the numbers and math formulas that are clouding my mind. I came home and my mom was watching "of mice and men". I do like that show however, I have a hard time watching it without this devastating feeling of sadness that consumes me every time. So I plugged my headphones in and listened to music once again to drown out the sound of the saddest part in the movie. I've realized I like to shield myself from things that make me sad because the feeling is unbearable to me. I HATE the feeling of being sad. It may be wierd to say but when you have had your share of sadness, hatred, and self pity (which i'm not proud of) you don't want to find yourself feeling that way ever again.

I think i'm going to go watch Jess play today which is nice because I never got to see here play. Which means I should start chipping away at this math review again. :(