My heart feels heavy tonight I have no idea why at this moment.

I've been super encouraged lately to be kind and loving. I notice stuff all the time now that I wouldn't have before. I can sometimes judge people a lot and when I catch myself I wonder why? Why do I feel the need to make assumptions about people that are probably far from true?

My aunt’s eyes were completely yellow tonight, which is never a good sign. Mom said that is a sign of your liver failing. I feel for Richard and his family as well. How can you go from fine one day to seazuring? Then to find out he has cancer too, in his brain where there is no fixing it. I just don't understand. I don't understand at all and it makes me want to crawl into my bed under my blankets and never wake up again. I couldn't imagine being in either one of these families heartache right now because I know I feel like mine is unbearable for them right now.

Although there is so much pain in this world god has still brought me so much happiness. I have never been happier in my entire life. Things are going so well and I am such a lucky girl. I thank god for everything and everyone he has given and brought into my life. I truly could not be more blessed.